Taylor bangs the gavel and starts the town meeting
"Okay everyone settle down. There's not too much to discuss but i have one very important topic to address. It's time for the first annual Star Hallow's Secret Santa Exchange"

"The What?" shouts out Babette

"The first annual secret santa present exchange. Everyone in town's name has been placed in this rather large hat here next to me..."

He point to a huge hat

"and we all pick a name from the hat and whatever name we pick we buy that person a present"

"What if we don't like the person we get" shouts out Kirk

"Well, I suppose you could exchange names with someone"

"Oh, this is great, I can finally give someone a singing fish" Lorelai whispers to Rory

"Shhhh" Rory tells her

"Okay so everyone come pick a name, and that includes you Luke. Don't think you can get out of this" Taylor yells

"Taylor this is stupid" Luke yells back

"Glad you are participating"

Rory looked at her and said, "Well, do you think it may have something to do with a certain someone's feelings toward another certain someone"
"Rory, what in the name of William Holden are you talking about"

"Mom, come on, you know what I am talking about"

"No, i really don't"

"It gets more obvious everyday mom. Actually, he's more obvious then you are"

"Rory, please tell me what you are talking about"

"Mom, do you or do you not have feeling for Luke?"

"What? Wha...What...Where did that come from?"

"Honestly Mom, just tell me the truth"

Lorelai stares down at her hands as she thinks to herself...

Lorelai looked up at her daughter. "I..."

"Mom, do you have feelings for Luke?"

"Yeah."

"Feelings other than just friendly ones? Do you often picture him naked?"

"Good Lord, child!"

"Sorry and I'm freaking myself out here by saying this, but do you find yourself having intimate dreams about him?"

"Rory!"

"Well?"

"Oh God, Yes! But, I also have intimate dreams about Hugh Jackman, but that doesn't mean I have feelings for him."

"That's totally different. Having intimate dreams about something you don't know and probably never will is all about fantasy. Besides, he's married. Having intimate dreams about someone you do know could mean something."



"Whatever"

Everyone rushes over to the front of the studio and picks a name out

Lorelai goes to Rory. "Who you got" she ask

Rory responds "I got Miss. Patty, who you get?"

Lorelai opens her paper, "Oh, great, I got Kirk, wanna trade"

"No way"

"Great"

Taylor goes over to Luke and places the hat in front of him "Pick Luke" he says

"This is really stupid you know"

Luke takes a paper out and reads

"Oh God"

"What who'd you get?" Talor asks

Luke walks away from him

"Hey Bootsey, who'd did you get?"

Bootsey replys "I got Lorelai"

"Can I trade with you"

"Why, I mean this could be my chance to impress Lorelai with my charms"

"You charming"

"Hell yeah"

"Look, I got Taylor, you like to suck up to him so can you just trade with me?"

"You can't make me trade"

"I'll give you free breakfest for a week"

"Deal"

"Great"

They switch papers

Meanwhile Lorelai spots Babette.

"Hey Babette, can you do me a favor."

"Sure sugar, what can i do for you?"

"Can you trade people with me, I got kirk and well, I am frightened to look for something for him"

"Oh, well, I guess I could trade with you, here you go sweetie"

Lorelai looks at the paper and Lukes name is on it

"Hmmm..." she thinks to herself

Day before the presents will be exchanged::

Rory sat down at the table by Lorelai. "Hey. Question?"

"Mmm." Lorelai flipped a magazine page.

"Did you get Luke's present yet?"

"No."

"You do know tomorrow's the day, right?"

"Yes, I do."

"What happened to wanting to give away a singing fish?" Rory inquired.

"I don't know, it just doesn't seem right."

"So you're planning on giving him...."

"A singing turkey."

"Mom."

Lorelai sat down the magazine. "I don't know! This was supposed to be just buying a silly gift, or getting rid of something I already owned but didn't want, but now I'm supposed to give an actual gift with an actual meaning."

Rory smirked, "Why do you think that is?"
"I. I don't know!" Lorelai exclaimed in frustration.

"Like what?" Lorelai sighed.
"Like, maybe, possibly, you want him, and you should do something about it."
"But what if he doesn't want to and I make a complete fool out of myself?"
"Oh come on, mom. Are you serious? The man is crazy about you, and I'm not the only one who knows it. Sookie does too. And Miss Patty. And believe it or not, but Grandma also has been picking up on those vibes."
"Don't say vibes."
"Why not?"
"It reminds me of a conversation that Max and I had about..."
"Luke." Rory finished.
"Right."
"See? Even he noticed."
"Okay, so maybe I like him. And maybe he likes me. So, what do I do about it?"
"Well, that's obvious. Give him his Christmas present."
"Yeah, great idea, except for the fact that I haven't figured out what to give him yet!"
"I have." Rory said with a smile.
"Well, spill it sister!"
"A kiss."
"A what?"
"You heard me. A kiss. Give him a kiss. Then he'll know you like him, and you'll know that he likes you. It will all work out. You'll see."
Lorelai smiled nervously at Rory. "You think so?"


Meanwhile over at Lukes...

"Jess were are my keys"

"What?"

"My keys, you know, to the truck. The truck I let you borrow yet you never put gas in"

"Oh, yeah...on the counter"

"Thanks a lot"

"Were you going"

"The mall"

"What? You going to the mall? Did hell freeze over or something"

"I have to buy the secret santa gift for Lorelai"

"Luke, mall, Luke, mall...nope still sounds wierd"

"Goodbye"

"I don't even see why you are going"

"Excuse me"

"Why go to the mall when you have the perfect gift for her already, is beyond me"

"What the hell are you talking about"

"Why don't you just tell her?"

"Tell her what?"

"Don't play stupid Luke, you know what I am talking about"

"Jess, I have things to do so instead of wasting my time either tell me what you are blabbing about or just let me leave in peace"

"Fine, whatever, go"

"Thank you"

"But you know what I am talking about"

Luke left and closed the door. He did know what Jess was talking about.

The night of the big gift exchange came and Lorelai and Rory are getting ready to head out to Miss. Patty's

Rory looks into Lorelai's room

"Hey mom, you ready to go?"

"Almost. Where's my other shoe? Why does this always happen that I pick out the perfect shoe to wear with an outfit but then I lose one of them"

Rory picks a shoe out from under the bed

"Are you talking about this"

"Oh, yeah. I meant to look there"

"Wow, you are totally stressing about tonight."

"What? I'm not stressing. What is there to stress about. If anything I am stress free...Can you see the stress floating in this room, I hope not, 'cause there ain't no stress here"

"Okay, mom"

"In fact I am worried about the complete lack of stress here. I think everyone should have a certain level of stress to stay healthy...well call the doctor because, nope no stress here."

"You're crazy"

"Where's my other earring?"

Meanwhile over at Luke's...


Jess sits on the couch reading when Luke comes out holding a small packages wrapped up

"So, what did you get her"

"Oh, just a little something"

"Like...?"

"Like it's none of your business"

"Yeah, okay, whatever"

"Glad you see it that way"

"Yeah, well, it's probably cheap anyway"

"Excuse me? What makes you think this is cheap?"

"It's just a secret santa gift. Who in their right mind goes all out for a secret santa gift"

"Oh, right"

"Unless it is for someone special"

"Yeah, ummm, I'm going head out to the thing now"

"Okay, have a good ol' time" Jess says sarcastically

"Thanks"

Luke leaves and examines the small package. He places it in his pocket and proceeds to Miss. Patty's.

Lorelai and Rory are walking over to Miss Patty's
"So, what did you decide to do about Luke's gift?" Rory asked

"I got him something"

"A kiss, maybe"

"No, Rory, I actually got him something, stop talking about this kissing stuff."

"You're not going to tell me what you got him?"

"Nope"

Rory looks at the present Lorelai is holding. She couldn't decide what it could be.

"Hmmm...well, it's definitely not the singing turkey or fish. Oh, is it something plaid"

"No, Rory"

"Is it a hat with one of those stupid sayings like "I'd rather be fishing?"

"Like I would ever buy something like that"

"Oh, it's the complete DVD set to the first Star Teck series"

"Rory, stop, I'm not going to tell you. Plus that's not even out on DVD. And Luke would turn red if he got that. I mean I enjoy seeing Luke turn multiple colors as much as the next person, but tonight i don't think that's a good idea"

"Come on give me a hint"

"Um...no"

"You are impossible"

"I know" Lorelia says proudly

The reach Miss. Patty's and enter...

Miss Patty was happily bustling around from one person to the other, trying desperately to see who had who, or rather, who had been too cheap to splurge for a real present. Kirk, who refused to show her the gift tag on his present, had been squeezed in a rather unwelcome manner, at which point he dropped his present, it started to squawk and he started ranting off legal gibberish.

Lorelai and Rory stood observing the chaotic scene from the back of the room as Luke and Jess came in behind them. "Why is Kirk's present alive?" Luke asked, obviously petrified.

"He probably raised it himself," grinned Lorelai.

"Maybe we can find some way he violated state laws and get him shipped off to Siberia or something."

Lorelai grinned and looked down at the package in Luke's hands, with his thumb resting over the nametag. "So, who's the person that the cheapest person in the world bought a present for?"

"That's none of your business. It's Secret Santa, remember. Not tell-Lorelai-who-you're-being-forced-to-buy-a-present-for-in-a-stupid-exercise-of-Taylor's-power."

"Wow. You really don't like this."

"I really don't like Taylor. This, this is OK," they paused and smiled at each other. "We should probably sit down. Jess? Rory?"

The four of them walked down the aisle, and Lorelai and Luke sat down between Rory and Jess, near the middle of the studio. "So do you think you got something good?" Luke asked.

"I damn well better have. If I didn't, well, Kirk's chicken will serve another purpose."

"That was cruel."

"You eat chickens. That's cruel."

Before Luke could comment on Lorelai's treatment of her own body, Taylor banged in the meeting, without any verbal descriptions, so as to help Lorelai keep her comments to herself. He looked around the room disapprovingly. "Luke. Did Jess not buy his Secret Santa his present?"

"Taylor. Jess can form coherent sentences. He's also sitting right beside me. Talking about him as though he wasn't here isn't exactly healthy."

"You're not exactly healthy!" Lorelai called out.

"Lorelai, keep your comments to yourself. Alright, this is how it's going to work, everyone will come up to the tree. Tree," Taylor pointed.

"We're not idiots," Luke grumbled.

"Luke. Don't grumble to yourself. Single file, no pushing, place your gift under the tree. Please place them in an orderly fashion, I really don't want to have to re-arrange them. Afterwards, everyone will receive their presents."

Lorelai started to stand up before Taylor banged his gavel. "Lorelai! Did I say you could go?"

"Taylor," she enunciated before sitting down and sulking.

"Alright. Now you may go."

"Thank you."


After all the presents were put under the tree it was time to start opening them

Taylor went back up to the podium. "Okay everyone, take a seat and we can do this. I am randomly going to pick a gift and whomever's name I call out, you will come up and get your gift."

"Wow Taylor, could you make the rules alittle clearer, I'm not sure we all got that," Lorelai shouts

"Yeah, maybe draw us some pictures" Rory comments

Lorelai added, "Now do we grab a present then you call our name or do we..."

"That's enough" Taylor shouts

"Bitter," Lorelai remarked

Taylor grabs a gift from the tree. "Now no one will force you to reveal who you got a present for, because we all know that some people here are quite the cheapskates, so no pressure. Okay, the first present is for...Kirk"

Kirk looked surprised. "What? You mean, someone actually bought me a present" He goes up and takes the package from Taylor. "I mean, I figured someone would give some excuse over not buying me something but the fact that someone actually took the time to buy me something like..." Kirk opens and sees the singing fish..."a singing fish?"

He examines it and pushes the button and the fish starts to sing. "Oh my gosh, this is the best thing I ever seen in my life." He proceeds to sit down. "This is wonderful. One day when I have children, I now have something to pass down to them"

Lorelai whispers to Rory, "Kirk reproducing? Scary thought."

Rory adds "Oh, yeah."

A few more gifts are handed out and then Taylor called out Lukes names....


"Oh great" Luke says grumpily

"Hey, maybe you'll get lucky and get a singing fish" Jess tell him

"Now I know what to get you from Christmas" Luke snaps back

Luke gets up and graps the gift from Taylor. Lorelai looks at him as he rips the paper off. He opens it and it's a box. He takes the top of the box off and looks inside. What he sees surprises him.

It was a Lou Gehrig rookie card

"Wha...who...oh, wow." Luke was actually speechless

Lorelai looked down at her hands. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the face

"Oh my gosh, mom, you bought him a Lou Gehrig rookie card? How much was that?" Rory asked

"Umm, actually I got a really good deal on it."

"How much?"

"I was just walking around and I saw this little store that sold old baseball cards and stuff, and I remember Luke had really wanted his uncle Louie's baseball cards but Louie wanted to be buried with every single thing he ever owned. And when I saw the card in the store I...I couldn't resist."

"Mom, how much was it?"

"Oh, Rory, stop. And don't worry. The present I got you for Christmas cost more."

"Really? What did you get me?"

"You ask too many questions"

"I learned it from my mother"

Lorelai looked back up at Luke. She wondered if he realized she was the one who got his present.


Luke went over to Miss Patty

"Hey Patty, do you know who was assigned to get me a present?" he asked her

"Oh, sorry dear, but I haven't a clue. But look what Rory got me. Isn't this a lovely birdfeeder?"

"Uh, it's very nice"

Luke looked around but to his surprise no one claimed to have got his gift.

Meanwhile Taylor went over to the tree and picked up a small gift.

"Lorelai" He called out

"Oh, my turn" Lorelai said to Rory

"Good Luck" Rory told her

Lorelai grabed the small package from Taylor and sat down with the gift. She opened it up and gasped when she saw what it was

It was a beautiful necklace with a rose pennant on it.

"Oh my gosh" was all Loerlai could get out

"What?" Rory ask

"Look"

"Oh, wow. Mom, who bought you that?"

"I...I don't know"

"It's beautiful"

"Ummm...yeah, yeah, it is, excuse me"

Lorelai walked away and went over to Miss Patty

"Um, Patty?"

"Yes, Dear" Patty responded

"I was wondering, do you know who got my present?"

"No dear, I'm sorry"

"Oh, well okay, thanks"

"I'm surprised not as many people are claiming they bought gifts. First Luke asked me, now you. You think that someone would want credit but..."

"Luke?"

"Yes, he asked me about his gift just a few minutes ago"

"Oh. Patty, would you excuse me"

Lorelai walks off in search of Luke.

When she turns around she bumps right into him.

"Luke, hi. I was looking for you." She said.

"I was looking for you too. This is from you right?" He said holding up the card. "It has to be you because you're the only one I remember telling all the stuff about wanting Uncle Louie's cards."

"It was me."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not getting me a singing fish?" He laughed.

"Can you believe Kirk liked that thing?" Lorelai laughed.


They laughed at the comment but after there was then an awkard moment of silence. Lorelai looked up at Luke and took the necklace out of the case she had it in.

"Hey Luke, you wanna see the gift i got?"

Luke looked somewhat nervous at that.

"Uh, yeah, sure" he replied

She showed him the necklace

"Isn't it beautiful? I've been tring to find the person who got it for me, but no one wants to claim it"

"Oh, well I'm sure they are around here someplace"

"Yeah"

There was more silence

"Do you like it?" he asked

"The necklace? I love it." she replied

"Good, good"

She looked at the necklace then back up at him

"You got it for me didn't you?"

This caught Luke off guard

"How did you figure that out"

"Cause we are the only two people in that room who didn't tell the other person we were their secret santa. Process of elimination and such"

"Oh, right"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome"

"Luke?"

"What?"

Her face was now about three inches away from his face

"There was another part of the your present you didn't get yet"

There's eyes met

"Really?" Luke says

"Yeah"

She presses her lips against his and they kiss. They pull apart and smile at each other.

"I was going to give you that instead but figured if I got you the baseball card too, I wouldn't look like a cheapskate." Lorelai tells him

Luke laughs at this. "The baseball card is great but I gotta tell you,you're way better"

She then kisses him again.